Well eff.

First, you should know that I am in the final stages of writing a thesis that I have been working on for almost three years. I claim three years because I believe that the research stage counts too. And, to boot, my bf has fled (cannot blame the guy, I cannot stand me right now either :) to take a two week rafting trip through the Grand Canyon. So, when I am not thinking about the thesis, I have a lot of time to think about other random stuff. To be honest, this is not unusual, it's just that I would probably just talk about it with Benton normally. Instead, I will talk to you - that is, no one. I don't really think that people read these things. That's okay with me.

Day two:

Yesterday was officially day one alone with the thesis, but it doesn't really count because I met a friend at UBC and talked to her over lunch about, you know, stuff I think about and stuff.

Okay, so I was walking down the Drive this evening and I had a couple thoughts that I want to share. The first is that my girlfriends all suck. No, not as people, and no not in a any ways that make me not want to keep loving and admiring them. But, here's the thing - they all move away to be with partners. Seriously. It started in Calgary and this trend has just kept right up. Honestly, it's dumb. Now, I'm not saying that I will not ever be part of this club, but I haven't done yet. I've moved away, but not for my lovers. I have decided to attend universities and explore new cities, but these things I did for me - selfishly. I'm not claiming that's not sad either. I have moved far from my child and I may move further yet in the future, and maybe even for some one I am in love with. It's just that tonight, when I really wanted to go and see a movie with a close friend - I realized that most of them don't live here anymore. And, the one that does is thinking of moving... potentially because of a partner. So, what's a feminist to think of all this? Are my friends all feminists too? I think that they all self-identify as feminists (please feel free to correct if I'm wrong - oh, if you ever read this...). So, what gives??? Do I just know women that will turn their lives upside down for their partners? (Oh, and actually I want to include at least one man in this rant as well.) Seriously. It pisses me off. Fine, I started thinking about it out of total selfishness, but ... Where have all my girlfriends gone? L.A.M.E.

Next, I was walking down the Drive and I was really pissed off about *see above* and then it occured to me: yoga is really, really expensive. Seriously. It's gone up to $17 for a drop in class on the Drive and I think that's really lame. How much do I have to pay some one to help me stretch - eff that. No wonder I decided to start going to the gym.

So, with all this in mind, I decided that going to a movie was a bad idea (no, not because I would be alone, but because I have work to do!) and I rented 5 discs of BtVS (I LIKE the small "t" - thank you very much!) and I intend to sit in front of them for the next week until the thesis draft is (HOPEFULLY!!!) finished at long last and I am free. We'll see what happens.

PMB

p.s. - Patty Griffin rocks!